It's OK my dog is friendly!

Well hello there!

Ever heard someone say it’s OK he’s friendly, as their dog barrels over to yours or find yourself saying the same whilst yours barges into someone else’s dog? I hear this every day, how people and dogs cause stress due to being out of verbal control or people assuming it is normal to let their dog approach others without invitation.

I’m not whiter than white and have been on both sides of this story, ! promise you I really can empathise with you! Ren was super pushy when we first adopted her, and still can at times when other things occur, and I’ve fostered and boarded and worked with loads of full puppers who have also been pushy for one reason or another. I’ve uttered those very same words. On more than one occasion.…and been embarrassed and frustrated and full of shame at times, honestly I feel you. This blog post was inspired by these situations as if I have felt this and I’m a pro, surely other owners have too.

Ren was friendly, but pushy when we first adopted her. She’s into Chester here!

A real story, June 2020 - My daughter and I were out walking Ren and Hattie Happypants recently. It was evening, not the dogs normal walking time and they had had a day of unusual events happening. Their spoons were running out.

We hadn’t long got to a narrow part of a field and I had stopped to poo pick, spotted and off lead dog and Kirsty moved the dogs to the side (both still on lead at this point as we can’t see around corners and prefer to be safe) to allow the person to pass by with her dog. I realised they were still behind me and the person made a joke about her dog watching me…but hadn’t put him on a lead yet.

Meanwhile he races off but in a nervous not excited manner - the difference is the tight muscles, lowered rear end and tucked tail…which instantly arouses Ren the Collie wannabe. Plus neither of them had a seen a dog for a few days and were at the start of their walk, so not an ideal situation to start with, 2 strong dogs on lead being approached then staring at them fairly closely while owner of said dog proceeds to crouch and hold her hand out to our dogs loudly exclaiming she was a dog walker.

This of course was too much for ours, they pulled hard towards her, causing Kirsty a painful yank on her arm, then Ren escalating quickly into a growly barky mess that she isn’t normally like and redirects her frustration onto Hattie who argues back. Not ideal.

I asked her to move on as she was over exciting the dogs and off she went. Of course, Kirsty and I thought we had done the right thing by moving off to one side, keeping them on lead etc, in hindsight (why do you always think of these things after…) we should have both told her to keep moving or ask her to leash up.

Then the next few dogs we saw were also off lead and not under voice control which caused Kirsty too much anxiety, she worried about people needing to break social distancing rules to get close to us and how Ren was still wired from the previous encounter so we headed back home but went a relatively quiet route and had some better experiences before calling it a day.

Why tell me this story Katie?

Because sometimes, it’s just better to leash up even if your dog is normally friendly, sometimes your friendly dog, like ours, will react to situation with annoyance or fear. And learn dog body language, because if you can understand your dogs’ silent communications as well as that of others, you might save yourself, your dog or a stranger from an evening of anxiety.

Also, consider how to include more zen and calmness into your dogs’ daily life and routines, to help him relax and enjoy his walks without rushing. This really does have an overall effect on behaviour, this I can vouch for from personal experience not just professional.

Katie, I said my dog is friendly not pushy.

Is he though?

It may surprise you that to other dogs, your dog might seem pushy to them, especially if they are young, anxious, newly adopted, lacking social skills, sore, elderly or whatever. Believe me, Ren has the Staffy intense stare (bit like a Collie) and Hattie can get so excited she pulls and growls and both can generally gets us all in hot mess, mostly if the other dog is moving unpredictably or staring at Ren; she finds this super intimidating as do I if I am being stared at by stranger.

If your dog is allowed to freely approach other dogs, on or off lead and uninvited, then this may also upset you to learn that your dog might actually be pushy. He may have developed an expectation of being able to do what he likes with other dogs, and the other dogs he approaches may have an expectation of being approached uninvited and both could potentially develop over reactive, emotional response behaviours to get what they want; access to dogs or space from dogs.

Here’s the thing. Socialisation is about learning to ignore stuff in the environment, including other dogs, cats, birds, balls, children, people in hi viz, cars…Some dogs are friendly, some aren’t and that’s O.K.

But, what’s not O.K. is not being mindful of how our dogs’ behaviour affects others. Their behaviour is your legal and ethical responsibility, as is their emotional and physical safety which includes not being told off by other dogs or people which may upset them and cause behaviour problems in the future for your dog.

What should we do, Katie?

The long and the short of is if your dog is friendly or pushy, pop your dog on a lead if you see a dog on a lead. It’s an unwritten rule of dog etiquette and reduces the likelihood of frustration or annoyance from the dogs or the people if you leash up when you see people and/or dogs.

Ask the other dog owner if they would mind the dogs interacting calmly, and check with both dogs. If one seems to not be having a good time i.e. screaming, hiding, ignoring your dog or lunging, growling barking, snarling and generally causing the person holding the lead to look and probably feel upset, they aren’t having a good time. That would be a good time to be on your separate ways, no big deal. I’ll do a play blog some other day.

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Katie